Fuu 101
by Cap'n Coree
Summary: The Cap'n conducts a class on the depth of Fuu. Spoliers, breaking of the 4th wall.


**Fuu 101**

_cap'n coree_

**WARNING: **Within this story I, Cap'n Coree, break the fourth wall. Not only do I break the fourth wall, but blow it up, beat it with hammers, ect so on, you have been warned. Also I, Cap'n Coree, include myself in the story. Call me egotistical, but this is merely a gag fic, meant to make people giggle, or wiggle, or both, depending on which they prefer. Again, you have been warned.

P.S. This isn't a Mary Sue either.

Contains Spoilers as well.

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Cap'n Coree was scanning the SC Forums on when she was shocked to find that several members think Fuu has no charcter depth. Bent on proving them wrong, Cap'n Coree jumped into her two-story wooden pirate ship parked outside her parents house and navigated it into the side of her house, and through the T.V.

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Fuu was laying on her back, watching the fire aimlessly as it died down. Mugen and Jin were out once more, enjoying what fleshy delights they could afford. Fuu pouted, praying that they would come down with one of those ailments the loose girls in her hometown were said to have by the town gossips. The ones that make it sting when you pee.

There was a rustling in the bushes, Fuu shifted uneasilly and squirmed farther under her blanket, trying to convince herself it was the wind, or merely a cuddly friendly animal looking for food. She heard the distinct sound of footsteps, and fought the urge to call out for Mugen or Jin.

The footsteps edged closer, and Fuu clutched the blanket tighter to her, trying to become invisable. Suddenly something tore the blanket from her, and she tried to scramble away, not even chancing a glance at her assailant, before a burlap sack came crashing down over her head, blocking the world from view.

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The Captin hummed, content with her catch. Standing on a set of books, the only way she could reach the wheel due to her short stature, she sailed onward through concrete streets, towards the local community college. She climbed out of the boat, a lumpy, wiggling sack thrown over one shoulder, a brief case tucked under the other, and pushed her way through the doors and the wave of students there in.

Choosing an abandoned class room she set down the sack, which immediatley tried to squirm away, and opened the brief case to pull out a label maker 3000 1/4, turning the knob until she was satisfied. In one swift and dramatic movement she slapped the newly made label onto the door, heaved the trying-to-escape sack and the briefcase back to their appointed places and shoved open the door.

Any curious student who may have passed, and who may have read the sign on the door, would be greeted by bold letters reading: "Fuu 101".

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Cap'n Coree stood infront of the empty chairs on a slightly raised stage. On her face a large bushy grey mustache was taped, and she held a pointer in one hand.

"Good Evening class!" she hollared, waving the pointer wildly. "Today we will be discussing the charcter known as Fuu." The Cap'n walked over to the sack and untied it, lifting the sack to spill out its contents. Fuu fell out and rolled across the stage.

"This is-"

"WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT! YOU BETTER LET ME GO, I HAVE SOME VERY DANGEROUS-" Cap'n Coree chuckled, embaressed and walked over to Fuu, holding a large pink helmet with googly eyes and funny wires.

"I'm sorry class, I seemed to forget something."

Fuu looked around, confused. The only person in the room was this crazy small person with a large mustache.

"Who the hell are you talking to- hey don't put that-" The helmet plummeted down ontop of Fuu's head and attached itself by inserting it's wires into her ears. Fuu's face went slack and the Captin pulled out a small remote, pushing a few buttons to make Fuu stand.

"First, class, we will be looking at the subject herself. Note the loud colors, the startling pink of the kimono. This suits the subject well because she herself is loud." Cap'n streched Fuu's cheeks, then stuck two fingers in her mouth, prying it apart until it was open wide. "Her mouth opens very wide, good for yelling, eating and complaining. She does these things often. She has to yell and complain due to her choice in companions."

Cap'n took out her pointer and poked at Fuu's stomache, "The subject herself has the amazing abillity to grow and shrink in a short amount of time if given enough food. Note the dirty feet, and the worn footwear. She travels far distances at a time, and has very little chance to bathe. The subject is young but you can already see the hint of a wrinkle around the right eyebrow and the mouth area from scowling, or screaming in intense horror. Oh, the poor subject has a hard life you see, she's almost constantly being beaten, kidnapped, or thrown into a whorehouse."

"Now, class, the subject obviously suffers from abandonment issues. Not only do her companions often leave her, but so has her father. She may also be developing a severe hatred for men, due to the numerous amount of times she's been abducted, and the numerous amount of times she's been abandoned. Her objective in life is to sock her father in the mouth. Not a healthy way to live if you ask me." Fuu's face twitched in agitation before a large shock emitted from the helmet, causing her to scream. Her face went slack once more, drool dribbling out of the side of her mouth.

"Some may say because the subject seems to only worry about food and her own safety that she is shallow, and because she is so loud, she is dumb and annoying. Some would say that she has no charcter. I beg to differ. The subject obviously has deep social anxieties and a troubled childhood, making her a very intresting charcter indeed." Cap'n Coree poked Fuu in the head.

"I am going to take a peek into the subjects brain now, using the helmet strapped onto her head. Do not worry. This should cause no horriable damage to the subject, except her ears might bleed and she may suffer from horriable nightmares for a few nights, but thats a small price to pay for enlightenment!" Cap'n pulled down a screen, then pulled a wire from the helmet and attached it to a projector.

"We are going to sort through the memories of the subject. We'll start with this, the moment her father was leaving."

A blur formed on the screen, then began to define itself into a shaky picture of a lane streching down a hillside. The picture rocked back and forth, tiny arms and legs pumped in and out of the line of sight, and in the distance a man was riding a horse. The crying of a child could be heard.

"PAPA!" A voice called as the child ran faster towards the fleeing man. "PAPA!"

_'He can't leave,' _tiny Fuu thought, _'He can't leave!"_

"Notice the child Fuu is afraid to loose her father, she must have loved him very much yes?"

_'Papa can't leave! HE STILL HAS THE CANDY HE SAID HE'D GIVE ME That good for nothing basta-!'_

Captin laughed, shiffting her eyes as she skipped through the rest of that memory and on to another one.

"Lets try this one, the memory where the subject's Mother is dying.."

Another blur took form on the screen and the form of a sick women came into view.

"Fuu," a she whinned, taking her daughters hand. "Fuu about your father. I know in my heart he's still alive. I lied when he said he died. He left us-" The women shuddered and gasped, her life fading before the young girls eyes. Tears began to well and blur the image.

There was the sound of a stomach grumbling and a hand rubbed the dejected tummy.

_'Whose going to buy me food now?'_

"UH...next memory, yes?"

The image of a burnt tea house took form on the screen, Fuu kicked at a piece of burnt wood and sighed.

_'I liked this place.. they fed me for free.' _Fuu rubbed her grumbling stomach once more. '_Well the least those idiots could do for destroying the place is help me find him..'_

"Oh poo, wheres the angst! The depth! Gah, next memory!"

Fuu sat in a whore house that she was recently thrown into for breaking a vase. Her stomach growled.

"ARGHGHSH!"

Fuu stared at the fork in the road as her companions ran away from her. Her tummy let out a small gurgle.

"SHITFUCKCOCKASS!"

Fuu stood on the bank of a serene river with Jin. He asked her what she was going to do after the journey was over. Fuu's thoughts strayed to fried dough, mounds of roasting meats, and sushii. She looked at Jin, whose head was replaced by a large bowl of red rice. Her belly jiggled and demanded food.

Cap'n Coree shook the projector, her mustache fell off, landing on the floor next to her.

She ripped to helmet off Fuu's head, and blood began to pour out of the subjects ears. The dazed look on Fuu's face was replaced by one of severe agitation and pain. She began to throw a string of curses at the short girl infront of her before the burlap sack was once again thrown over her head.

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Mugen and Jin searched the campsite for Fuu, grumbling about her running off again before a sack dropped out of the sky, landing on them. Fuu scrambled out, her ears still bleeding and shot them both a dirty look, which was hard to do when both their heads resembled steaming piles of noodles.

Fuu's stomach rumbled and she placed a hand over it.

"I'm really hungry."

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Just a small idea that popped in my head that I thought I would give a spin. Dont kill me.


End file.
